wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
