I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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