why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
