you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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