Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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