In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
