do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
