Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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