Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
