ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
