pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
