He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
