I accidentally had phone sex last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
