Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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