it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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