I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
