and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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