i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
