you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
