and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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