I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
