Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
