"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
