yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just gargled with NyQuil
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
