that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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