ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
