so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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