plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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