I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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