i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
