You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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