We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
