I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
