i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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