everyone is single if you try hard enough
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
