Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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