Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
