i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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