We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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