I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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