I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
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It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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