i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
