I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
