Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
