We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
