PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
