she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
