You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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