he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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