Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
