I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
