are you so shy because you have an std?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
