Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
