we're blogging at a bar
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
