Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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