He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
