If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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