The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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