Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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