Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
