she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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