he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
