i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
